CAVEAT LECTOR

Read at your own risk. This blogger is not responsible for making sense.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

When Love and Psychology collide

[Love: 10 crazy scientific facts By Laura Schaefer]

And this is why I major in Psychology -- because it's real and it works.

1. It’s like looking in a mirror! It turns out we all have a little something in common with Narcissus—the mythical fellow who fell in love with his own reflection. Scientists at the University of Liverpool recently concluded that our brains favor people with familiar faces. The research team asked over 200 participants to view a number of digitally altered human faces. They found that subjects preferred the features they found the most familiar—whether that means his or her own visage or that of a family member. This may explain that common phenomenon of couples looking like they could be siblings.

2. Go ahead and stare. Another new study says that when a woman walks into a room, she is considered more attractive if she turns her eyes directly toward a certain man. Men would rate the same woman as less desirable if she doesn’t make strong eye contact. In this study, conducted at Dartmouth University, lead researcher Malia Mason had male participants sit and view a series of faces of fashion models, digitally enhanced to either be gazing toward or away from the participant. The study authors asked the viewer to rate the likeability of each model and found that those who turned away were seen as less agreeable. The study’s researchers went on to suggest that a woman’s gaze can be a powerful arousal cue and that our impressions are largely formed by nonverbal communications such as eye contact.

3. You’ll know it when you see it. A recent study at the University of Pennsylvania reveals that regardless of what people say they are looking for in a dating situation, they don’t need a lot of time with or information about a person to tell if they’re interested. Single people’s behavior suggests that individuals know “it” (a person who appeals to them) when they see it—almost instantly. Lead researcher Robert Kurzban and his colleagues studied data from 10,000+ daters. They found that men and women assessed potential compatibility within moments of meeting, using primarily visual cues such as age, height, and attractiveness. Says Kurzban, “Somewhat surprisingly, factors that you might think would be really important to people — like religion, education, and income — played very little roles in their choices.”

4. Listen up. The next time you call up a potential love match, pay special attention to how they sound. Researchers at the University of Albany had 149 men and women rate the attractiveness of a series of recorded voices on a scale from 1 to 10. The researchers also gathered information about the sexual histories of the people whose voices they recorded. They found that the voices found to be the most appealing belonged to people who had sex at an earlier age, had more sexual partners, and were more prone to infidelity than those rated as having less appealing voices. So know that what’s a seductive voice to you may be linked to a person with a bit of a past…

5. I couldn’t help it baby, it’s in my genes. There may be a genetic component to infidelity, says a professor at the Twin Research Unit at St. Thomas’ Hospital, London. This is based on the fact that if one twin exhibits infidelity, the other twin strays 55% of the time. In the general population, the number is 23%. The tendency to remain faithful is a component of personality, the scientist elaborates, which is governed both by a number of genes and societal factors.

6. It’s official. Love makes us crazy. For one, it causes serotonin levels in the brain to drop, which may lead people to obsess about their lover. (The levels of serotonin, a chemical produced by the body, are also low in people who have obsessive-compulsive disorder.) Next, it ramps up production of the stress hormone cortisol, leading to slightly higher blood pressure and possible loss of sleep. Finally, a scientist at the University of London has found that when people look at their new loves, the neural circuits that are usually in charge of social judgment are suppressed. All in all, love kind of leaves you obsessive, stressed, and blind. And we love it.

7. Why broken hearts hurt... A recent UCLA study suggests the psychological hurt of a break-up is just as real as a physical injury. Two areas of the brain that respond to physical pain also become activated when a person is dealing with social pain, such as being dumped. The study’s authors used an MRI to monitor brain activity in participants while they played a game simulating social rejection. The researchers believe that the pain of being rejected may have evolved as a motivating force that led humans to seek out social interaction, which is crucial for the survival of most mammals.

8. Blushing is best. If we take our cue from apes, rosy cheeks are crucial in the dating game, says a new study. Scientists at Stirling University in Great Britain have found that primates prefer mates with red faces. A rosy glow might also act as a similar cue in humans, say the British researchers, sending a message of good health. They speculate that it could explain why women use blusher.

9. Kiss this way. Did you know there is a “right” way to kiss? People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of left, says a report published recently in the journal Nature. A scientist from Ruhr University in Germany analyzed 124 pairs of smoochers and found that 65 percent go toward the right.

10. Meet for drinks before dinner. Researchers at NYU and Stanford have discovered that hungry men prefer heavier women. By staking out a dining hall, scientists had hundreds of students fill out questionnaires about their preferences in a mate. Men who filled out the questionnaire just before they entered the hall described their ideal woman as an average of three or four pounds heavier than men interviewed after they ate. Incidentally, researchers did not find the same change in women’s preferences, so guys: Go ahead and schedule that drinks date for before or after dinnertime.


Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time.

Monday, May 22, 2006

"In Her Shoes"

I saw this movie on DVD last night. It's a pretty good chick flick. Talks about 2 sisters who are as opposite as night and day. Sisters who love but can't stand each other at the same time. It basically illustrates sibling rivalry and rising above it.

In this case, they have a long lost grandmother (Shirley Maclaine) to show them the way. She helps them to make peace with each other and with themselves (took that almost straight out of the CD jacket there).

The movie itself dragged on for about an hour or so going into each personality - how they lived their lives and how this affected the other.

Toni Collette plays the older more responsible sister, who thinks she's fat and unattractive. Cameron Diaz on the other hand, is the flirty party girl who's also the irresponsible carefree dumb blonde troublemaker.

Anyway moving on, they get into trouble but eventually make up in the end. What touched me with this story was how Cameron's character - Maggie, who made it a personal career to sleep around with as many men as possible and get the most out of it, was touched by an old guy in a retirement home. Out of all the men she goes out and sleeps with, the one guy who touches her heart is an old man in a retirement home who gets her to read him poems and stories. Made me cry when he died. Sort of reminded me of my grandfather.

Doesn't take a lot to make a girl feel special. Sometimes just appreciating the little things in her go a long way.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Thanks Ma!

Mama T.R.
For trusting I could do my job and making sure that I was paid well to do it; for making sure my team and I were cared for in the best possible way; for letting my child be a friend of her children; for always standing up against discrimination; for always doing what's right; for becoming a friend

Mameh G.M.
For hiring me in the first place even if I was over-qualified; for believing that I could do better; for treating me like a friend rather than a staff member; for all the beers and the night-outs; never thought we'd be as close as neighbors and girl friends

Mama M.H.
For always standing up for us; for working so hard to raise her son on her own; for believing in people and raising them up; for being humble and great, able to teach and be taught at the same time

Ma'am F.W.
For making me part of a family that was never my own and accepting my child as hers as well; for understanding why I may never get married; for knowing my limitations; for opening her home

Mama N.C.
For standing up to my Dad when I couldn't; for trying to be the best mother she could be; for finding herself and becoming her own person

And for all the mothers of all my friends, some of whom I've been so privileged to meet and others I have not, because of you I have such great people in my life. They are reflections of you and how wonderful you are.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

lost & found

Sometimes I feel lost
... lost in a crowd of faces
... lost in a sea of dreams
... lost in a field of emotions
where no one can find me

Sometimes I feel
I am at a loss
... at a loss for words
... at a loss for feelings
... at a loss for being

Sometimes I'd like to be found
But more often than not,
I find that I'd rather be alone

These days though,
Sometimes being alone
Doesn't feel so lonely

Being held
Being understood
Means more to someone lost

Because it doesn't mean
always needing you around

Just knowing that you do
... in a crowd of faces
... in a sea of dreams
... in a field of emotions
is knowing that I found you

And sometimes knowing that
is enough to someone lost
Knowing means I don't have to be found