an old card

yesterday i found a love letter addressed to me. it was an old love letter. more of a card really, with just my name and the name of the guy who gave it to me written up front a very expensive-looking, elegantly-written card. he didn't even write it. i believe it was in high school when i got that card. it made me remember a lot of things... like how stupid i used to be then (and consequently how stupid i am now), or how puppy-eyed i must have been over that guy (and ironically how numb i feel now towards anybody).

were those events in the past instrumental to creating my sentiments and beliefs about love and relationships now? i would say so.

it was just such a wonder for me how coincidentally similar that poem was to a recent poem i penned. and this was before i came across that old card. coincidence? or fate? i don't know...

but it pretty much settles where i am in terms of relationship and love and shit like that. i am still in a wasteland of emotions where feelings are mixed up, ambiguous, and untrustworthy - just like i am. where i am is in an old card - expensive-looking and elegantly-written, but with only as much content as my name... and the guy who once gave it to me.