No One. Nowhere. Nothing

No one.

It hurts too much to think that we are truly alone. When you're in pain, you can't really share that pain with anybody. Sure you can talk about it and pray about it, but in the end it's your pain & your burden to bear. There is no one else

Nowhere.

What's worse in this situation is when you literally have nowhere to go and no one to talk to. I'm not particularly proud that I have secluded myself to a point that I feel I actually have nowhere to go. I'm stuck where I am to feel the way I feel and just... endure (for lack of a better word). Pathetic isn't it?

Nothing

Right now I feel I have so much to say. I feel angry and I feel disappointed. I feel sad and frustrated. But then when it comes down to it, I feel so numb it's as if I feel everything and nothing at the same time.

I think that if I was given the opportunity to speak, I probably won't have anything to say.

One Day @ A Time

When we started out, I was doubtful
I was damaged goods and you played the field
I didn't think we'd last any longer than we did

So I took it one day at a time
Thinking this will most likely be as good as it gets for me
And so one day at a time was good enough for me

Fast forward to now...
It seems to have worked as from one day to another
Suddenly three years worth of one days have passed
But how foolish of me to think it would last longer than that

Fact is you're still a bachelor at heart and I'm still damaged goods
The same people from the start
How foolish of me to think that there could be more
When all this time you were itching to get out the door

I didn't think we'd last any longer than we did

But I hoped...

I wished

I prayed

Thinking this will most likely be as good as it gets for me
But suddently one day at a time was no longer enough for me

And so one day at a time...

We stopped speaking

We stopped laughing

We just stopped

I'm still damaged goods and you're still a bachelor
Taking it one day at a time, only this time without each other

One Night Stand

I close my eyes
And wish with all my heart

That he would call
That he would remember

That maybe it all meant something
That maybe we meant something to each other

But as minutes turned to hours
And hours into days
Then days into weeks

I begin to realize
Maybe I thought too much of it
Maybe that was all it was after all
Maybe I was just too slow to comprehend

Though I wished it could have been more
But to him, I was just another one night stand

The Last Two Years

I can't believe it has been two years since I've logged on to this blog. Guess when you have nowhere else to go, you go back to the beginning.

Sometimes I wonder what the last few years have been like. Was I really happy to not have written anything remotely sentimental?

Maybe...

Or maybe I just succumbed to the money grubbing side of me. Yes I blogged for money. And it worked too, for awhile.

I swore off sentimentality years back. But I think getting hurt is a good excuse to be overly dramatic again.

That's what happens when you have no one to talk to...

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

I participated twice in organizing Breast Cancer Awareness month here in Cebu some years back. This involved not only symposiums on prevalence and prevention, but also more enlightened forms of relaying the needs of those who have acquired the sickness as well as the necessity to disseminate the information to as many women as possible. We had contests and fashion shows, encouraging people's support - ranging from skills and expertise to fund raising activities.

I don't get to do much of that anymore, but I still believe in the cause. Here are some clips first few of which define Breast Cancer - its symptoms, screening mechanisms and treatment. What follows then are news of advancing technology, new medication as well as other relevant information for those who like to learn more.

The 59th Annual Emmy Awards

Watching television used to be one of my favorite past-times, before motherhood that is. But more than that, I absolutely miss pageants and award ceremonies like the Emmy awards. Seeing what stars are wearing - what's fashionable and what's not. So what were they wearing at the Emmy awards? Everyone from Eva Longoria of "Desperate Housewives" to Ashley Jensen of "Ugly Betty" is featured here plus more news on the 59th Annual Emmy Awards

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My Little Pizza Maker

Just last week, Little Haven Learning Center - where my daughter is attending pre-school, had this great activity for their Nutrition Month theme this July. This was a "Pizza-making Camp" as my daughter named it.

Their entire Kindergarten class went to Greenwich and had a chance to make their own pizza. I got to learn a little something too. Here's how it went:



First of all you dress up. Here's my daughter, Andrea, in her apron and hairnet getting ready to make her pizza.






After which you get all your ingredients ready. The pizza store basically provided her with the pizza dough, some tomato sauce, cheese and ham. She then starts to spread the tomato sauce on top of the dough.



When you're just about done with that, then you sprinkle grated cheese and then top it off with ham. I didn't get a picture of the latter as she was going way too fast for my documentation purposes.



Anyway the end product should look something like this. At this point, the pizza is ready to go into the oven.





The entire activity took about 4 hours and cost me a hundred pesos. But it was quite worth it. My daughter got to make her own pizza and eat it too - so it was pretty good. She also got her "Pizza maker certificate." Not sure what that means really, but she had a good time and that's what matters.




That's the end of my little pizza maker's story.

Who's listening?

People hardly ever listen. We don't hear what we don't want to hear - which are ironically the things we need to hear. I guess that's why advice is so easily given and not taken, or maybe why nagging irritates people so much.

"We have 2 ears and 1 mouth that we may listen twice as much as we talk," I think that was how the saying went. What a tired line that must be. We usually turn a deaf ear to the unpleasant sounds of life anyway - relationship problems, work deadlines and sometimes even our own physical pain (if I can tolerate it, I'd rather not go to the dentist).

Along the process though, we betray ourselves the most. Sometimes we can be so tactless and yet we resent people who are; we comfort and try to appease the people we care about when they are sad while we ourselves are so difficult to talk to when we are not in the mood; we share our musings and yet we forget them when we are discouraged; we get angry and end up saying things we don't even mean. Then when everything comes apart at the seams, we wonder what happened.

Maybe because people hardly ever listen. And the person we listen to the least would be... ourselves.