man vs child

i do not want to have to choose between a man and my child. i resent being made to feel bad about having to go home to a sick child just because i was not able to keep a date. i understand it must also be disappointing on the other end, but it is beyond my control. and if it would ever come to the point of choosing, heaven knows i would choose my daughter.

and why would i choose my daughter?
because a month to a year from now, no man will give me a second thought. man is fickle though he doesn't admit it. he can toss you aside like a used rag and have you feeling like it was all your fault that he had to throw you away.

because a decade from now, no man will give me a second look. man is superficial. he will always desire what is young and beautiful - which i cannot always be and i surely will not always be. he will justify this with all the musings of a schoolboy, the philosophical crap of a scholar, and the sentiments of a romantic, but it all boils down to the same thing. i do not want you anymore.

because when i am old and gray and ugly, only my daughter would see me in the continuity of who i was and who i am. because if i ever get to live that long, i doubt a man will be beside me.