when faced with the inevitable

Today i was reminded of a scolding a gave years ago to a friend. But this time the tragedy of it all, does not regard the topic with miniscule relationship issues but weighs it down with the reality of life and death. Still the same question remains...

When faced with the inevitable would we just choose to quietly anticipate the impending doom? Or suffer the insufficience of living life under its shadow?

Whether faced with an incurable disease or a departing loved-one, i find just no sense in depriving one's self of life's simple pleasures just because the time may come that it can no longer be advanced or no longer be enjoyed.

Sure it is a reason that what would become of the would-be partner who would thereby suffer afterward, but who doesn't suffer? We are all bound to face the inevitable - whether sickness,
or death or betrayal or pain. They lurk in life's every corner ready to pounce on any random individual. They neither choose nor care if the victim be a child, a criminal, innocent, or wise. We are all bound to the uncertainty of existence whether we like it or not.

With every instance of pain and suffering, what is worse is the anxious anticipation of such. Sorry to sound so textbook but Humanistic theorists would insist that worrying is a waste of time. We are the masters of our destiny, and every moment we create it and move toward or away from it. Each minute of worry then, anticipating the pain and sadness that is YET to come, that is YET to befall - whether inevitable or not, is just prolonging the hurt, magnifying the wounds, and delaying the life which one could in fact still lead.

It is not for me to deny that it would be true the limited and restricted nature of pleasure and passion one may encounter in this sense. But isn't it also a fact that happiness and sadness are but faces of the same coin? There can never be complete happiness or complete sadness.

Wouldn't this so much the more encourage us to live happier lives though limited the pleasures we can enjoy? It is in its rarity that there is found its value. Isn't that why people value so much the soul mate? or the true love? because they are rare, don't they then become precious and sought after? Of what difference is life and its simple pleasures?

Hard-hearted as it may sound, i do not pity so much people who are dying or who are in pain. because their pain is evident and clear. Whereas most people go through life not even knowing what and why they are not happy - only drifting in the shallow sensations but never really experiencing life. Sometimes i guess it takes such earth-shattering occurrences for a life to be truly shaken.

It is also a fallacy that the possibility of death knocking at their door is conceived closer than that of the normal person. Because it is not. It is just the conception that is negative. Aren't we constantly reminded to live everyday as if it is our last? Wouldn't that be more effective then when we are not taking advantage of our mind's myth of invincibility - that nothing could happen to us and we could not die?

Instead when i see such people, i admire them. In my own masochistic way i envy them. In my opinion, we should not view these people in pity. Although i do not know how they personally wish to be treated, i for one would not sell them short. Because God does not give such trials to ordinary people. He only grants great trials to great individuals.

When a woman cannot be with child, it is then by virtue of God because she is capable of a love MORE than that which can be given to a child of her own. She can love just as much a child not her own. She is a better person. And she can be more. Persecution is not always punishment, it is more often pruning.

When a person is striken by a terrible disease, it is then by virture of God that he is capable of overcoming such pain while touching others at the same time. He is a better person. He is stronger. He can reach out to many others who only believe they suffer in pain, when he in fact has overcome the immense reality of pain.

"God does not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear, and when we are tempted He will give us a way to stand up under it." It may sound corny, mentioning deity as if it is the be-all and end-all of life, because although i believe it does, i want for this to be more logical than spiritual in nature.

And so i say, i may die tomorrow or hurt or lose a loved-one. It will be painful. But i will not sit by and watch that happen, waiting in a dark corner. No one should. No one deserves that. The power of knowing is already a weapon against anticipation.

I have list of things i want to do before i die and although i have not finished the list, and though i have not accomplished it, i will live each day knowing that i have not wasted an hour worrying over being left alone because i know it will be an hour taken away from me playing with my daughter. And every minute i ponder the chances of my heart being broken i lost a minute of finding a way to make sure some other heart will be kept together.

There is no end to the inevitabilities of life, but there is an end to choice. We have no control over inevitabilities, but though how limited the options - we still have control over choice.