thinking of thoughts

when i'm very tired
i try to stop thinking

coz more often than not
i'm thinking about something
i'd rather not be thinking about
have you ever encountered that?

and as you grow even more tired
you grow ever more anxious
thinking about what you shouldn't be thinking

so now i've been thinking
what if i don't stop myself from thinking?

thinking has always gotten me through a lot of scrapes
in fact come to think of it
its NOT thinking that has gotten me in trouble

it is tiring though
and sometimes also depressing

depressing when i dwell on thoughts
that in the first place caused the tiredness

depressing when i dwell on thoughts

and sometimes the good
are just as bad as the bad

because i get caught up in them
so much so that
sometimes the comparison to reality
can be very disappointing
and again... depressing

but i guess
that's just the way it is

maybe that's why we are entitled to thoughts for free
maybe that's why we should just let our thoughts be free

let's think what has to be thought
then feel what has to be felt

i doubt there's any escape anyway
they will always haunt us, in the dead of night in our dreams
or in the brightest of day, in the toilet or on the sidewalk

thinking is just like breathing
i figure if we hold it in for too long,
we'd turn blue

and if we, for some reason can no longer think
i figure like breathing
we'd probably die

thoughts are like air
one of the few things left
that we don't have to pay for
though we can't choose its quality anymore

more often than not, thoughts are like air
more often than not polluted
more often than not limited

so then if air is a precious resource
than so are thoughts
and so is thinking

so there
i shouldn't stop myself from thinking
because if i did
it would be just like stopping myself from breathing
just because i was tired
or just because the air was too much to bear
i don't want to breathe it

its silly
my analogy
but it answers my question for now
so it'll have to do for now
as i think of thinking
and think of thoughts

i guess its a necessity
and its a curse
its a blessing and a burden
to live with

but still i say... i'm tired of thinking