problem with empathy

i can empathize.
alright i'm a hard-hearted bitch who doesn't give a shit about the world.

but i guess it's true what philosophers say about people's personalities - that they are 2 sides of a coin. just like no one could appreciate good without bad and beauty without ugliness, or riches without poverty and finally blessings if not for adversity.

and so under this premise i have my claim to empathy. because i wouldn't know the hard-hearted bitch that i am had i not empathized.

anyway, enough about me. it's just so difficult sitting beside someone who is feeling down or angry or mad or sad or depressed - anything sorely negative and not be able to do anything about it. the person's feelings just grows into a being all its own and sits beside you too. there is just this expanse fencing the person in but at the same time there is a ripple of sadness that moves outward.

is this empathy i feel? or do i feel responsible? or am i guilty? or is it because i feel powerless to help?

it is said that the discomfort of distress pushes people to be helpful. this is supposed to be one of the primary theories backing the concept of altruism, supporting the stand that there is indeed no true altruist - only people who want to help themselves feel better.

so i really am just a hard-hearted bitch who wants to feel better.