i have a crush

i have a crush
very good-looking
deadly witty

i have a crush
he's a raconteur
(i just learned that word.
it's mystifying, just like him)

i have a crush
i love the way he writes
i love the way he expresses himself

i have a crush
he doesn't know me
and i don't know him

but i do know he wants to be a broadcast journalist
... very seldom for college boys to already have such a direction
i know he's father is in America
i know his mother is planning to follow there
i know he has a brother
i know he goes to UP
i know he's about to drop PE 2
i know he loves to write

he reminds me much of another person i know
but the fact that he is a stranger
is even more of an appeal to me

i don't like getting to know a crush
because that will potentially lead to him no longer becoming one
he will either become more or less than a crush
and that's not how i want a crush to be

crush (n.)
an object of extravagant short-lived passion
someone you would adore though not in his presence
someone you put on a pedestal and worship in your head
someone who would make you feel squirmish and smile
someone ideal
someone perfect

someone ideal
which refers to no one
someone perfect
which in reality is no one
there can be none

none but an image in my mind
none but who i conceive him to be
none but who i hope he would be

that is a crush
a representation of an ideal
perfected in my head

requiring only meager antecedents
like the sight of him
like one of his stories
like one of his musings
and that is him

and that is all i have of him
but that is enough
as any more may just ruin my crush
... any more than this may quench the admiration
... any more than this may take him off my pedestal
... any more than this may make him less perfect to me