Christmas past, Christmas present

Christmas Past

I used to have fun during Christmas. Although relatives would arrive from all over, I was alone usually in a big house with lots of empty rooms. But I managed to get by. I used to live with my grandparents in this big old delapidating house that's now a parking lot for some hotel. For as long as I can remember, I sang the Christmas songs, wrapped the Christmas gifts, and was always excited to see the Christmas tree.

Christmas Present

Fun does not really define my Christmas this year. It was more like, "Oh that's nice - let's move on." I was with my daughter (Thank God that lessened the alone part of Christmas). But it sort of just came and went this year. I thought at first that maybe because I was too busy with work. I wanted so much to give my daughter nice gifts. I wanted so much to have a nice Christmas dinner. I think everyone does. But in the midst of all that, something was just missing.

This year has just begun but for some reason, something's missing too.